James and I have been talking about doing book notes, a review, or something to that effect to share the best take-aways from what we read and use for discussion. Here, I'm simply going to post my favorite quotes from the heartwarming book, Tuesdays with Morrie.
Tuesdays With Morrie
an old man, a young man, and life's greatest lesson
by Mitch Albom
pp.135-6
"I believe in being fully present," Morrie said. "That means you should be with the person you're with. When I'm talking to you now, Mitch, I try to keep focused only on what is going on between us. I am not thinking about something we said last week. I am not thinking of what's coming up this Friday. I am not thinking about doing another Koppel show, or about what medications I'm taking.
"I am talking to you. I am thinking about you."
p.162
"For me, Ted, living means I can be responsive to the other person. It means I can show my emotions and my feelings. Talk to them. Feel with them . . ."
He exhaled. "When that is gone, Morrie is gone."
p.163
"Be compassionate," Morrie whispered. "And take responsibility for each other If we only learned those lessons, this world would be so much a etter place."
He took a breath, then added his mantra: "Love each other or die."
p.175
"That's the thing, you see. Once you get your fingers on the important questions, you can't turn away from them."
And which are the important questions?
"As I see it, they have to do with love, responsibility, spirituality, awareness. And if I were healthy today, those would still be my issues. Theey should have been all along."
p.175-6
What if you had one day perfectly healthy, I asked? What would you do?
"Twenty-four hours?"
Twenty-four hours.
"Let's see . . . I'd get up in the morning, do my exercises, have a lovely breakfast of sweet rolls and tea, go for a swim, then have my ffriends come over for a nice lunch. I'd have them come one or two at a time so we could talk about their families, their issues, talk aboutu how much wwe mean to each other.
"Then I'd like to gof r a walk, in a garden with some trees, watch their colors, watch the birds, take in the nature that I haven't see in so long now.
"In the evening, we'd all go together to a restaurant with some great pasta, maybe some duck---I love duck---and then we'd dance the rest of the night. I'd dance with all the wonderful dance partners out there, until I was exhausted. And then I'd go home and have a deep, wonderful sleep."
That's it?
"That's it."
It was so simple. So average. I was actually a little disappointed. I figured he'd fly to oItaly or have lunch with the President or romp on the seashore or try every exotic thing he could think of.. After all these months, lying there, unable to move a leg or a foot---how could he find perfection in such an average day?
then I realized this was the whole point.
pp.155-7
"Here's what I mean by building your own little subculture," Morrie said. "I don't mean you disregard every rule of your community. I don't go around naked, for example. I don't run through red lights. The little things, I can obey. But the big things---how we think, what we value---those you must choose yourself. You can't let anyone---or any society---determine those for you.
"Take my condition. The things I am supposed to be embarrassed about now---not being able to walk, not being able to wipe my ass, waking up some mornings wanting to cry---there is nothing innately embarrassing or shaming about them.
"It's the same for women not being thin enough, or men not being rich enough. It's just what our culture would have you believe. Don't believe it."
I asked Morrie why he hadn't moved somewhere else when he was younger.
"Where?"
I don't know. South America. New Guinea. Someplacce not as selfish as America.
"Every socieety has its own problems," Morrie said, lifting his eyebrows, the closest he could come to a shrug. "The way to do it, I think, isn't to run away. You have to work at creating your own culture.
"Look, no matter where you live, the biggest defect we human beings have is our shortsightedness. We don't see what we could be. We should be looking at our potential, stretching ourselves into everything we can become. But if you're surrounded by people who say 'I want mine now,' you end up with a few people with everything and a military to keep the poor ones from rising up and stealing it."
Morrie looked over my shoulder to the far window. Sometimes you could hear a passing truck or a whip of the wind. He gazed for a moment at his neighbors' houses, then continued.
"The problem, Mitch, is that we don't believe we are as much alike as we are. Whites and blacks, Catholics and Protestants, men and women. If we saw each other as more alike, we might be very eager to join in one big human family in this world,, and to care about that family the way we care about our own.
"But believe me, when you are dying, you see it is true. We all have the same beginning---birth---and we all have the same end---death. So how different can we be?
"Invest in the human family. Invest in people. build a little community of those you love and who love you."
He squeezed my hand gently. I squeezed back harder. And like that carnival contest where you bang a hammer and watch teh disk rise up the pole, I could almmost see my body heat rise up Morrie's chest and neck into his cheeks and eyes. He smiled.
"In the beginning of life, when we are infants, we need others to survive, right? And at the end of life, when you get like me, you need others to survive, right?"
His voice dropped to a whisper. "But here's the secret: in between, we need others as well."
pp.124-5
"We've got a form of brainwashing going on in our country," Morrie sighed. "Do you know how they brainwash people? They repeat something over and over. And that's what we do in this country. Owning things i sgood. More money is good. More property is good. More commercialism is good. More is good. More is good. We repeat it--and have it repeated to us---over and over until nobody bothers to even think otherwise. The average person is so fogged up by all this, he has no perspective on what's really important anymore.
"Wherever I went in my life, I met people wanting to gobble up something new. Gobble up a new car. Gobble up a new piece of property. Gobble up the latest toy. And then they wanted to tell you about it. 'Guess what I got? Guess what I got?'
"You know how I always interpreted that? These were people so hungry for love that they were accepting substtitutes. They were embracing material things and expecting a sort of hug back. But it never works. You can't substitute material things for love or for gentleness or for tenderness or for a sense of comradeship.
"Money is not a substitute for tenderness, and power is not a substitute for tenderness. I can tell you, as I'm sitting here dying, when you most need it, neither money nor power will give you the feeling you're looking for, no matter how much of them you have."
pp.126-7
"There's a big confusion in this country over what we want versus what we need," Morrie said. "You need food, you want a chocolate sundae. You have to be honest with yourself. You don't need the latest sports car, you don't need the biggest house.
"The truth is, you don't get satisfaction from those things. You know what really gives you satisfaction?"
What?
"Offering others what you have to give."
You sound like a Boy Scout
"I don't mean money, Mitch. I mean your time. Your concern. Your storytelling. It's not so hard. There's a senior center that opened near here. Dozens of elderlyy people come there every day. If you're a young man or young woman and you have a skill, you are asked to come and teach it. Say you know computers. You come there and teach them computers. You are very welcome there. And they are very grateful. This is how you start to get respect, by offering something that you have.
"There are plenty of places to do this. You don't need to have a big talent. There are lonely people in hospitals and shelters who only want some companionship. You play cards with a lonely older man and you find new respect for yourself, because you are needed.
"Remember what I said about finding a meaningful life? I wrote it down, but now I can recite it: Devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your cocmmunity around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.
"You notice," he added, grinning, "there's nothing in there about a salary."
p.154
Morrie believed in the inherent good of people. But he also saw what they could become.
"People are only mean when they're threatened," he said later that day, "and that's what our culture does. That's what our economy does. Even people who have jobs in our economy are threatened, because they worry about losing them. And when you get threatened, you start looking out only for yourself. You start making money a god. It is all part of this culture."
He exhaled. "Which is why I don't buy into it."
p.159
It is 1979, a basketball ggame in the Brandeis gym. The team is doing well, and the student section begins a chant, "We're number one! We're number one!" Morrie is sitting nearby. He is puzzled by the cheer. At one point, in the midst of "We're number one!" he rises and yells, "What's wrong with being number two?"
The students look at him. They stop chanting. he sits down, smiling and triumphant.
p.178
"In business, people negotiate to win. They negotiate to get what they want. Maybe you're too used to that. Love is diffeerent. Love is when you are as concerned about someone else's situation as you are about your own.
Hope you enjoy some of these gems, and didn't scan over them too quickly -- I found many of the lessons to be quite deep, and was frequently teary-eyed throughout the book ^^
Much love,
Nick
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